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I really like the word schtup...as in, I just schtupped my husband.

I giggle every time I say it or see it written. It's hysterically funny.

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So I'm sitting couchside earlier tonight and I happen to look out my window and I see a wall of blue. I don't know who was moving or what they were moving, but that's just funny.

While I really am not overly fond of travel by car [I get carsick sometimes], one of my favorite things to do on a long trip is search for silly advertising on big trucks. You know, Cain is Able and crap like that.

It's a shame I didn't get the name of the moving company before the truck pulled away -- I'd like to know what the other 22 moving tips are. Some of their little white man illustrations are probably hilarious. I personally would like to see a little white man trapped underneath a giant sofa.

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I may not particularly like children, but I recognize the absolute fucking necessity for all kids to get a really excellent education. Head Start has, for the past 38 years, given poor and underserved kids who might not have access to learning opportunities that the rest of us have a real chance to start school ready to learn.

Because so few politicians started poor or even have a clue what it's like to live as a normal and average American, most of them have never had exposure to Head Start, beyond perhaps in the charitable giving sense. They didn't have to send their kids to a Head Start program, and none of their friends have taken advantage of the program. Perhaps the family maid is familiar with the program, but that's about it. George, being that he's never had to worry about money, has always had access to any educational opportunity he ever wanted, so he obviously doesn't have a clue.

And so when he was trying to change Head Start, a plan which many said would bankrupt the program within five years [don't worry, those protesting were straightened out by the administration], I wasn't surprised. He obviously doesn't care about the poor in this country [cutting the minimum wage earners out of his tax cut refund makes it pretty clear, among other things], so why should he care if their children have the skills to be successful in school? And this bill approved by the House today doesn't surprise me, either. Some things are good -- increased academic standards, increased teacher expectations. Unfortunately the government isn't giving Head Start any money in order to help institute the changes, and our government is now sanctioning religious intolerance masquerading as a Head Start program.

And you know what? I'm still not surprised -- in early May the Senate voted on the Workforce Investment Act, which would have allowed federally funded job and literacy programs to hire and fire based on religion. To my knowledge that part of the Act was removed. But because of that attempt at repealing civil rights laws, I wasn't surprised when the new Head Start bill would allow religious groups to run Head Start programs and give them the right to only employ people who subscribe to their religious beliefs.

I'm sickened by it, but I'm not surprised.

See, this is what private schools are for. If you want to attend a school run by Mormons, you pay to go to a private Mormon school. If you want your kids to attend a school run by born again Christians, you pay to send your kids there. Head Start is not about religion -- it's about learning and giving kids a chance to succeed in life.

It's not just about being able to hire someone based solely on their religion. If there's one Head Start in a town and it's run by Catholics, they could require Head Start attendees to pray before snacks or attend Mass, even if they're Jewish or Muslim. I know plenty of kids who aren't Catholic who pay extra to go to Catholic schools in the city because there's less of a chance of being stabbed. The school requires them to attend Mass and raise money for the church.

The current administration obviously wants a homogenized society. They oppose gay marriage and refuse to acknowledge Gay Pride Week. They deport thousands of people of Middle Eastern descent. They repeal civil rights legislation so I can be turned down for employment because I don't believe in a specific god. Anyone who is different is bad and suspect.

It makes me sick.

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I don't have a lot of sympathy for criminals. In my mind, a criminal isn't a woman who kills her husband because he's been beating her and the kids for years...or someone who liberates a loaf of bread from the store because he's out of work and his family has to eat...or someone who is in prison for doing drugs. I'm talking about people who intentionally try to rob, rape, and/or kill for no other reason than they want to. There's nothing redeemable about them.

I find it extremely distasteful when criminals are allowed to sue their victims. If Joe Blow the Robber comes into my house uninvited and unannounced and attempts to steal my stuff or do me bodily harm, I think I should have the right to do whatever I want to him. If I want to eviscerate him right there on the livingroom carpet, it should be well within my legal rights.

To my knowledge, a homeowner is allowed to injure a criminal who invades his or her home only in self defense. That means you can't shoot someone who has broken into your house, raped your wife, and is currently in the act of fleeing the scene. It might be a different law in different states and countries.

I'll tell you what...I don't keep a gun in the house, but I have a nice cook's knife set and they always stay razor sharp. If I came home to discover someone had broken into my house and killed my husband, and the person was in the process of leaving the scene, I'd probably go to jail. I don't think I'd be able to control myself.

I don't know what the burglars did or took when two of them broke into a home in England, but the homeowner shot and killed one of them and wounded the other.

Fearon [sic: the wounded burglar, who - by the way - has 30 prior burglary convictions], 33, hopes to sue Martin for a reported £15,000 following his wounding during a break-in at the farmer's home in Emneth Hungate, Norfolk, in August 1999.

An earlier hearing was told Fearon claimed his injuries, which included a leg wound, had affected his ability to enjoy sex and martial arts and that he had suffered post traumatic stress.

That makes me absolutely sick. Here's a career burglar who is pissed because can't enjoy sex anymore?

I like the expression "If you can't do the time, don't commit the crime." Because really, if you are unable to accept that you might be injured while doing something illegal, then don't fucking do it. Being able to sue a victim is teaching people they aren't responsible for their actions and that they will face no consequences for their actions.

Argh.

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In some small and strange way, groups like Westboro Baptist Church do some good in the world. I don't believe in their mission and I think every single one of them are wankers of the highest order, but idiots like them unify normal people by giving us all something to ridicule.

Some of you might remember reading that they planned to protest a high school graduation ceremony because a gay student was being given a scholarship in the name of Matthew Shepard. You might also remember that gay activists planned to use the protest as a fundraising opportunity [money would be pledged per minute of the protest].

Well, I'm happy to report that the Biotic Baking Brigade also showed up. I might not agree with all their politics, but the pie-ing of Fred Phelps' little crew of misled Bible-thumpers is something I can really get behind. Personally I think Phelps and all of his missionary position minions flock should be tied to the back of a pick up truck and dragged over a cactus field, but the pies will do for now.

What I find especially hilarious is the outcome of the protest:

Lincoln High students helping with the Saturday's commencement ceremony said the controversy surrounding senior class president Carter has made the school stronger.

"I think it's made more people have Lincoln pride, and it's unified our school," said Jessica Reese, a junior at Lincoln.

Shannon Wenck, also a junior at Lincoln, agreed. She said the students have come together to back Carter.

"Even people who are homophobic support Julius," she said.

Students and teachers all wore rainbow ribbons to Saturday's ceremony in show of their support for Carter. Phelps' group went to Drake University to stage another protest.

Probably not the intended affect, eh? Like I said, fucktard like Phelps give us all something in common -- we make fun of the crazies.

I have to wonder what happened to Phelps and his sheep to fill them with so much hate. To my knowledge, religion isn't supposed to be about hate and judging others.

[Newslink found via Ideal Rhombus.]

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I forgot that today is Friday the 13th -- a perfectly good skinning opportunity, wasted. Dammit!

I've never been one for superstition. Stepping on cracks, walking under ladders, breaking mirrors, etc., has never filled me with terror. But I have a nagging fear of looking into mirrors in a dark room.

Yes, it's totally silly. I don't even know what I think is going to happen -- Bloody Mary will appear and try to pull me into the mirror...I'll see gruesome dead people behind me...maybe bad luck for the rest of my life...I don't know. I just studiously avoid looking into mirrors when it's dark in the room. I guess I'm better safe than sorry.

What kills me is that I've seen a ghost in my bedroom while looking into the mirror during the daytime. Why should I be freaked out by the thought of seeing something in the dark? I think maybe I've just seen one too many scary movies and read a few too many scary books.

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I desparately want a President that commands respect -- not just by the sheer depth of his or her intelligence and the grace by which he or she carries themselves, but also by their actions and ability to legislate in such a way that all the people in the U.S. are made to feel a part of something larger.

George W. Bush is not that President.

I won't even go into the lengths to which he and this administration have gone to make me feel unwanted and unnecessary as a citizen. I won't recount his lack of mastery of the language. I just want to talk about how, as President, you should never look like a clumsy schmuck in public. People can't really respect a guy who can't even successfully eat a pretzel or who falls off a glorified shopping cart. It makes him seem too much like your mentally challenged third cousin with the drinking problem and no job...the one who lives in a run down trailer and has a Camaro perpetually up on blocks in his overgrown lawn plot. I don't want someone like that as my President -- I want to be dazzled by his brilliance, not by his idiocy.

See, this is why I don't run for President -- I want someone smarter than me in the White House.