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It doesn't matter what Traci Lords does, or how hard she tries to convince us all that she's a serious actress. Whenever I think of Traci Lords, I think of her with a dick in her mouth, and that's the way it will always be.

If, by some strange twist of fate, Traci won an Academy Award or something, she'd go up to collect her statue and thank the masses and the image would just pop into my head.

You know, you'd swear I watch a lot of porn or something.

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As if you already didn't think I was a freak, I stopped at Best Buy and purchased some knitting software yesterday. I'm purchased Instant Stitch, which comes with sweater design and organization software, and also a disk for cross stitch design [which I won't use, so if anyone wants it let me know]. I have finally dropped off the deep end.

Before you wonder why anyone would need knitting organizing software, you need to know that I currently have two gargantuan plastic bins full of yarn, and if I don't start using it soon that third bin will be started and then full in no time. I don't even really know what the hell I have.

And that sweater designer software is cool. I plug in my measurements, what kind of yarn I'd like to use, and determine what I want the sweater to look like, and it spits out a pattern with yarn yardage estimates.

And I'm pretty fucking psyched about it, so leave me the hell alone. Do I make fun of you for the geeky stuff you like?

And on a side note: many of you may already know that Dave from Blogdaddy was in a serious motorcycle accident on Friday. I'm thinking good thoughts for him, and you should too.

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I could jump for joy that all the weirdness going on here for the last twelve hours or so is finally over. It turned out to be, as many suggested, a php upgrade problem. Thank you to my wonderful hosting company for working that out, and also to those crazy girls from Blogmoxie for being at the ready, jumping in and making sure that everything was kosher with the coding. Really, I can't thank Joelle, Kathy, and Sara enough.

Because you know I'm just too challenged to fix it for myself.

I had lunch at Las Cazuelas with Cyn, and I was whining about my journal problems. Cyn is all computer programming goddess-like and was probably ready to push me into on coming traffic. That girl has got serious patience. And very pretty pink hair. Plus, she didn't even care that my nose was running after I consumed my jalapenos rellenos. That's love!

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If I were a religious woman, I'm pretty sure that I'd be thinking that the apocalypse is coming up pretty quick. And if I were a Jehovah's Witness, I'd have my heavenly house all picked out. Aside from less obvious signs of the apocalypse, there's your standard brimstone and fire, plague of locust, floods type of crap coming down like crazy.

There's all the stupid crap George is doing in the name of his god. There's the fact that it's been raining for just about three months solid now [time to build an arc? I dunno]. There are people being murdered en masse in many countries throughout the world [maybe it just seems like it's happening more often and with great frequency and fervor].

And now....a plague of Mormon Crickets. I always think of myself as lucky I don't live in Idaho, but today I feel luckier than normal.

And yes, there is still something strange afoot here at go fish.