I took a cab home from my event tonight. All I could think of was "Ahhhhh, couch! Maybe a bath! Yay!" And then the cab turned onto my street. People everywhere.
Fucking A, what now?
I get out of the cab and watch the multitude of neighbors gawking at something. And then I notice the smell of fire. Oh, and then I notice that there's a telephone pole on fire. Great. And then I notice there's no electricity. Fuck.
I spent the last two hours huddled around the couple of candles I keep in the house, eating raw hot dogs and swilling beer. Every weird neighbor in the vicinity gathered round. It was a big event. Old, bizarre women were out in their pajamas, offering to feel Craig up should it get too dark to see. The bar was packed -- no electricity and no lights, but dammit, the taps were running.
Finally, fucking PECO arrived and fixed it all. Now I'm tired and cranky.
So I'm supposed to believe that Eminem is going to save HBO? Apparently he's in talks to star in his very own HBO series. You'll never believe what the premise is.
"According to the Daily Star, he is expected to play a rich rapper from the wrong side of the tracks."
Really? What a stretch! In 8 Mile he played a poor rapper who becomes successful, right? Man, this guy has serious range! Pretty soon some director will tap him to do Shakespeare. It'll probably Shakespeare's long lost play about a rapper who gets rich and has an antagonistic relationship with his mother and wife.
A Hollywood insider is quoted as saying: "Eminem prioved he can act with 8 Mile.Nothing makes sense. Trust me, it's all surreal."It make sense for HBO to want him."
Well. This is new: I hate the smell of fruit salad.
Just thought you'd like to know.
Uh oh, looks like someone could be in trouble:
Henry Waxman, a California Democrat on the House Government Reform Committee, called on Mr Bush to explain why the administration cited dubious and later discredited documents to back its claims about Iraqi weapons.Gee, if there's actually a real inquiry into this whole weapons of mass destruction brouhaha, maybe then we can get an inquiry into George's intel and what happened on Sept. 11."To date, you have offered no explanation as to why you and your most senior advisers made repeated allegations based on forged documents," Mr Waxman said in a letter to the president.
Nah, that'll never happen.
[Short link found at The Gamer's Nook]
I might be a food snob, but I don't think it's too much to fucking ask to wash the greens before you make them into a salad. Nothing ruins a perfectly good salad faster than having to wash the grit out of your teeth after the first bite.
Motherfuckers!
I'm such a little joiner --
Sure I signed up. Remember the May Day Project? It was fun, and I'm a sucker!
Wouldn't you like to be a pepper, too?
[link found via 27 Things -- thanks Dusty!]
I hate Jewel. I hate everything about her, from her horrendous snaggletooth to her hippy dippy "I grew up poor so you should love me" attitude to her earnest staring. I've been hating her a lot more recently. Why? Because of her new album.
For starters, take a look at the cover. She's transformed herself into Debbie Gibson. Oh, excuse me, Deborah Gibson.
"I'd always thought electronic music was cold and pat and not very creative," [Jewel] says. Yet she decided to try the remix treatment on "Serve the Ego," a single from her previous release "This Way."See where I'm going with this? Jewel is happy to be considered a serious artist until she finds out she can make more money by making cheesy dance music.The end result not only resonated personally but lifted Jewel to No. 1 on the Billboard Hot Dance Club Play chart.
"I found a way to use beats that suits me," she says. "Now, I see that it's like being a painter who says they will never use red or yellow. Why limit yourself that way?"
And Jewel is part of this whole Intuition razor conspiracy. She made a deal with the devil Schick to use her music in the ad campaign. What happened to idealistic Jewel who would never support a product she didn't use? I can guarantee Jewel isn't her bathroom every morning with an Intuition razor and bleeding legs and armpits.
Yeah, I hated Jewel before and now I think she's a full-on, Dionne Warwick sellout.
"It always takes time to know what somebody is capable of; people have watched my learning curve since the beginning," Jewel says. "I've tried as much as I can to be honest, and I've been lucky enough to do this job according to the morals and principles that suit me. Now, I'm ready for this album to be heard."She needs to take her hair extensioned Debbie Gibson-wannabe craptacular self and go back to the van.
I have a work event tonight. So I'm sitting in my office in my pretty princess/corporate whore black suit. I've had this suit for a couple of years. I don't wear it alot because I'm not required to wear a suit here at Panhandlers Central. But I noticed when I put the suit on this morning that it's not looking so good anymore. There are threads hanging and the fabric is starting to look shiny.
So I'm doing what any normal person would do. Today at lunch I'm going to run out and buy an exact replica of this suit and I'm going to change into it in the bathroom. No one will ever know. Except you.
I have a severe phobia.
