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To: Kirsten Dunst
From: Nicole at go fish
Re: Your sagging rack
____________________________________________
I don't know what you have been doing to make your boobs sag so much. You're only, what, 22? But really, it looks like you had all your boob meat surgically removed and left only the skin and nipples. And now your nipples are hovering somewhere right around your belly button.
Here's a tip: you don't look good without a bra. You don't look sexy and you don't look hot. You just look like an old hooker. Your knockers no longer point in the right direction. Your tatas aren't even remotely in their original location. Those girls have gone south for the winter.
Please, be kind -- I don't need to see you flunk the pencil test with your dirty pillows.
Thank you. Congratulations on your award. Now go be a good girl and put on a nice foundation garment.
Posted by Nicole at June 05, 2003 10:54 PM | TrackBacki didn't even see the show and now i i'm grossed out.
sledge fished on June 5, 2003 10:56 PMomg. I love you.
Joelle fished on June 5, 2003 11:29 PM*bows to Nicole*
hoopty fished on June 5, 2003 11:39 PMOh that was frightening. Between her and Jessica Simpson reporting on the red carpet I was forced to turn the ol' boob tube off.
ryan fished on June 6, 2003 01:15 AMUmmm... I don't know what in particular you are talking about but I have to say that I am pretty much a boob fan. Now Ms. Dunst's boobs may have looked particularly heinous tonight but from my cinema viewing experiences, I would have to say that I am have enjoyed the parts which featured the aforementioned tatas... especially Crazy/Beautiful. Now for all I know, you could be right and Kristen's fun bags are just nasty pieces of floppy flesh that have somehow been digitally altered to look oh so alluring on the big screen. It would have helped if you posted pictures to provide support for you point. Now I am stuck pondering the possibility that Spidey's moves were not the only thing "enhanced" in the movie. Damn you Nicole!!
Matt fished on June 6, 2003 01:36 AMI thought they looked nice.
Then again, I havent seen other womens breasts to know how to compare. I know Id rather have her saggy small breasts than my floppy DD's.
well -haha!!- your a hoot!
paisley fished on June 6, 2003 08:24 AMBwah ha ha!!! One of my biggest pet peeves-- even though I greatly envy those who can walk around braless and look good, I think we all need to know when it's time to start strapping them down (or up, as the case may be).
Melody fished on June 6, 2003 09:17 AMMy retinas are still recovering from seeing Kathy Bates naked in "About Schmidt".... oh, and let' s not forget Jack Nicholson's naked bum. Gah!
Kathy had a whole case of pencils hiding under those flappers. Oh -- and they float!
Chari fished on June 6, 2003 10:47 AMThat's hysterical, and as someone with big boobies, I am so about covering those babies up when they're lookin' saggy and nasty...we're talking the MTV Music awards here, people! And your 'dirty pillows' comment cracked me up, and made me think of PJ Harvey's Sheela Na Gig! :)
anathea fished on June 6, 2003 02:58 PM
