go fish : Emmett Otter and his jug band

June 01, 2003

Emmett Otter and his jug band

This weekend I went outlet shopping with my mother. There are few things that make me quite as happy as bargains.

As it turns out, it was a kitchen day. I bought new wine glasses, a new wire whisk for my burdgeoning collection, and neat adjustable measuring spoons and cups. I really love gadgets.

On the way home my mother stopped at a local winery. I tend to think of my hometown as a, well, as an armpit of the world. So the thought of purchasing wine from a winery in a locale in which Pabst Blue Ribbon is considered a hoity toity beer, well, it's frightening.

But my mother knows I drink wine, and my stepfather's daughter is always blathering on about how the wine from the winery is so wonderful, blah blah blah. I gave in to keeping the family relations civil.

I bought two bottles of wine and two bottles of hard cider. They're all sitting down in my wine rack, daring me to try them. I'm envisioning Cleetus and Mildred out back in a shed making hooch in the bathtub, to be honest. I fully expect it to have a nice bleach-y aftertaste to it. Or maybe antifreeze.

The winery itself was pretty funny. It was just a shack on the side of the road with a big sign out front that merely proclaimed "winery." Inside there was a counter and about three dozen bottles of wine. Something else that made me very nervous was that one type of wine being sold was simply called "Blush."

You may have figured this out already, but I'm a huge fucking wine snob. I know the difference between swill and something good. I make fun of things like White Zinfindel and wine spritzers. I don't know many people who really like wine who also really like drinking White Zinfindel. It's like the jug wine of the world. And so is anything called "Blush" -- it's the equivalent of drinking pink champagne. You're a wuss: get a real drink.

Oh, and did I mention the winery also sold blueberry wine and apple-pear wine? If that's not hick wine, I don't know what is. Sure, it might be good, but I'm imagining something really sickeningly sweet.

So anyway, there was a very ancient woman behind the counter who offered to let me taste before I bought. I don't like to embarrass my mother, so I declined. There's always a chance I might have tasted the wine and loved it. But there's an equal chance that it could have been so bad that I would have had to have spit it out and demanded we leave immediately. It's better for all involved that we skipped the wine tasting.

Posted by Nicole at June 01, 2003 07:59 PM | TrackBack

Comments

You gotta let us know how the wine worked out. Also, when I hear something like "blueberry wine" I immediately thing "Boonesfarm" or "Mad Dog 20/20". :)

Iki fished on June 1, 2003 10:50 PM

"think", I mean. Sorry. ;)

Iki fished on June 1, 2003 10:50 PM

this has nothing to do with wine, but thanks for reminding me that i used to love that book "Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas".

are you gonna make a "Mo Q. McGlutch" post next?

mikey fished on June 1, 2003 10:54 PM

Eep, sounds scary.

So next time you're in France, skip the whole Paris thing, and do a tour of some of the wineries here ;) An experience that every wine lover should have the opportunity to enjoy ;)

Katia fished on June 2, 2003 02:53 AM

Actually, these small wineries can make spectactular wines. The fruit wines usually turn out better than you'd expect (we had one like the one you stopped at in Eastern Connecticut that made great fruit wines).

Blush. Ick. My ex-wife loved blush/white zin. Ptooey!

I love a good dry wine. We found an excellent wine shop on the Upper East Side by accident the other night, and it had amazing wines in the $10-$15 range.

Scott fished on June 2, 2003 07:58 AM

a mess-a momma's barba, a mess-a momma's barba, a mess-a momma's barbecue.

I'm so impressed you know Emmett Otter. :)

joelle fished on June 2, 2003 10:05 AM

Every state must have one of those places. We've got Oliver Winery. Their two most popular vintage is "Soft Red." It tastes like communion wine. Belinda loves it, but then, Belinda also loves communion wine.

Their hard cider rocks, though.

Melody fished on June 2, 2003 10:40 AM

All I can think of is the late eighties/early nineties when everyone was drinking "white zin". Rowlf (that's a barfing noise...).

I love deep, dark, peppery red wines... yum.

I too, am considered a wine snob (even though my drink of choice is a gin martini) and the entire bottom rack of my wine cabinet is home to a variety of hick wines given to us over the years by well-meaning friends. Some sort of white wine from "Intercourse Pennsylvania" is one of my favorite vinos from hell. It's a great conversation piece -- but I'm too frightened to open it. Must be the name...

Chari fished on June 2, 2003 12:40 PM

Wine snob here, too. My best advice is to use it for cooking wine. We've done that with some wine "gifts" we've received that fly in under our snob-o-meter radar.

pippa fished on June 2, 2003 04:20 PM

"White Zinfadel" are two words that said together just make me want to laugh. I am not a huge wine snob or anything but I do enjoy a good wine. I am just don't have much opportunity to partake in that sweet nectar of the gods.

Back to WZ for a second. A few years ago when that Baz Luhrmann "Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)" song was popular, I saw a spoof of it that started "Don't drink white zinfadel. Even if you like it..." That made me think of some friends in particular and if I had been drinking milk at the time, I would have snorted it through my nose.

Matt fished on June 3, 2003 12:39 AM